A graded fish is a loyal fish — OWWF Licensed Printer, Directive 114-FCCB
The FCCB is always hiring and never interviewing. If you are patient, literal, and slightly disappointed in humanity, you may already work here.
Benefits include: acrylic dust exposure, slogan embroidery, and the quiet thrill of saying "final" out loud.
| Role | Posting | Summary |
|---|---|---|
| Junior Notary (Stamp Track) | Press floor | Must be willing to stamp without reading. Reading is a senior privilege. Bring your own wrist brace. |
| Inspector of Abrasions — Apprentice | Grading bay | Entry role. Duties: look at toast, look at tags, refuse to lie about either. Nightmares about Day 30 preferred but not required. |
| Public Confidence Intern | Office of Public Confidence | Write slogans. Kill slogans. Embroider survivors on aprons. Unpaid except in moral clarity. |
| Ink Vault Custodian | Article V corridor | Guard a closet that is empty. Explain the emptiness daily. Do not ask what used to be inside. |
| Webmaster (Part-Time / Eternal) | this <html> | Maintain visitor counter. Resist redesign. If you ship rounded corners you will be graded Relic. |
Equal opportunity employer of rubber stamps. Gregory is not a protected class; Gregory is a lifestyle.